The Hard Road Out

Overcoming Addiction With Kevin McAleer

Addiction is a huge problem in the United States. Almost everyone knows someone, be it a friend, family member, or coworker, who struggles with drugs or alcohol. There may be people reading this article right now who face that struggle themselves. It can be really hard for addicts to get the help they need, but they can recover. Recently, I spoke to my cousin, Kevin McAleer, about his journey to overcoming addiction.

Kevin began our conversation by urging people to abandon their preconceived notions about what an addict looks like.

“I wasn’t raised as an addict. I was a normal person,” he said. “I was heavily involved in my church and served there for many years. I worked, got married, and had a kid. What came next is what I call my bad country song. Over a two-year period, my mom died, my dog died, and my wife and I broke up. It absolutely broke me to my core.”

This sent Kevin into a downward spiral. He started to drink a few times a week to cope with the emptiness of being alone. Then he was drinking more to help him sleep at night. Within six months, he had started drinking the moment he woke up every morning.

“I knew it was a downward spiral, but I didn’t know how to get out of it,” Kevin told me. “It was scary and shameful. I used to be this good, happy-go-lucky Christian guy, and now I’m drinking every day. I started becoming suicidal and thought about driving off the I-75 bridge. The whole time, I was still playing softball, hanging out with friends, and keeping up this facade of ‘being normal.’”

Kevin’s rock-bottom moment came just after Hurricane Irma. The day he was set to go back to work after the hurricane, he realized that his daughter had a terrible diaper rash. He’d passed out drunk the night before and let his daughter sleep in a dirty diaper.

“That was my moment of clarity. I looked around and knew I had to do something drastic. I called my boss crying, begging him to fire me. I was going into a program, and I couldn't have a go-back plan. Then I called my pastor, who I hadn’t talked to in years, and asked her to get me into Teen Challenge. I told everybody what was going on with me so I couldn’t go back. Then I went into detox. If you’re trying to get off alcohol, the best thing you can do is go into detox. Benzos and alcohol are the two kinds of drugs that can kill you if you stop usage. Go to SalusCare, they’ll get you off the safe way.”

After detox, Kevin got into Teen Challenge, a hardcore recovery program for people who are serious about overcoming addition. Teen Challenge has a 75% success rate, which is huge compared to the 5% success of other places. But it wasn’t an easy path. Kevin described Teen Challenge as “the worst summer camp ever, full of alcoholics and drug addicts trying to recover.” It was a yearlong process, and I was so proud of my cousin when I saw him graduate from the program.

The thing about addiction is that it doesn't just hurt the person addicted. It puts stress on their spouse, their kids, their friends, and anybody who loves them. I asked Kevin what advice he had for someone who knows an addict.

“Pray and leave them alone,” Kevin said. “I know it sounds harsh. My aunt tried to help me in the beginning, and it broke her heart. She had to draw a line. My sister had to draw a line. Everybody had to draw a line to leave me alone to the point where I had to come to clarity myself. That’s the hardest part. Parents want to love their kid to sobriety, but they can’t. An addict has to figure it out on their own. Once they start doing better, and once you see them doing better, forgiveness is huge. But even then, you have to keep your boundaries.”

If there’s someone in your life who is struggling with addiction or struggling to help a family member overcome their addictions, then feel free to share this podcast with them. You can find the full episode on YouTube.com/timhart. I really appreciated Kevin making the time to talk to me about this. He’s been sober for two years, and I know what a struggle it was for him. By sharing his story, he hopes to help others.

“Life just sucks sometimes,” Kevin remarked while we were recording. “In those moments, what do we do with it? I haven’t always made the right decisions, so if someone can learn or get some hope from my story, know that it gets better, but you have to go through the process. There’s a way out.”